Things I hate

I have been wanting to say something for quite a while. I wanted to explain myself a bit, what has been going on with me. At this point I don't think there is really anything I can say. I fear those I love and care for will not understand or be unable to accept the things I have to say. And I do not want anyone to feel I am railing against something that is very dear to them.

Every once in a while something really ticks me off. I figured I would put some of that out there.

I hate jewelry. I struggle with the material nature of so many western pursuits. I think jewelry embodies it all. Particularly diamonds. Diamonds in the west are worth than the lives of people in the developing world. Diamonds that are so common they should be practically worthless. But diamonds are forever and every kiss begins with Kay and la di da...

So I hate jewelry. I don't hate people who like jewelry. I just don't understand them. I could call it a man thing but I don't think that is it. It is the meaning people put on bright shiny objects. It is the obsession with tiny treasures.

I hate it when people assume that since I am in the military I share their conservative political views. Or I am inherently incapable of valuing liberal values. Just because I wear a uniform most the time does not mean I want to have a "tea party." Nor do my liberal ideals mean I want to burn the flag and smoke some good shit doing it. While I am in uniform there are no politics, my job is my job, my orders are my orders, and I do what I have to. I hope to be part of making the world a better place. That is why I serve. And I do not like the assumptions people make about my personal values and beliefs based simply on the fact that I serve.

I hate narrowmindedness and bigotry. I value and honor and am even sworn to defend the right of people to believe and say whatever they want. I hate it when people get caught up in their own xenophobic paradigm and do not realize they are doing it. If I could do anything to make the world a better place it would be to show people how to see the other side of an issue, the one that they don't understand and don't want to understand. Show them they do not have to accept it or support it or change their values, but I wish I could at least get people to open their eyes.

I hate the romanticised and idealised model of history people are caught up in. I hate the nostalgia for the good old times when the beautiful worked hard and happy and everybody lived their separate but unequal dream.

I hate that there is nothing I can do bout it all. I can scream into the lion's maw and spit into the wind. But my words will only be swallowed in the roar and I will choke on my own phlegm.

Most of all, I hate that I must scream. I hate that I am driven to do so and must do so and can't stop. I seek a madman (or woman) in the wilderness, one I can follow. The only worthy mesage is just a rehash of the only one that really matters. Treat others right. And love.