The Hurt

I just watched an incredible film. It is called The Hurt Locker. It ie about an EOD team in Iraq. I am not sure that anyone who has not experienced war can fully appreciate the film, but I appreciate it.

I pity those who have not known what it is to be under fire, to put life on the line. I have in my own small way walked the line and I am not sure I know how to equate all that to normal civil life.

There is no way to put in words how it feels to be wakened in the middle of a clear dark night, smoke and powder in the air. To see the tracers overhead. To hear the whistle of bullets passing by.

There is truly a clarity in battle. And though I hate the war, and the futility of it all, there is a part of me that misses the clarity of serving a just cause, and fighting the good fight. I do not believe there is a true soldier living who does not envy the flag-draped coffin.

I am not sure how to reconcile being here, while my brothers and sisters are there, in the crosshairs, or in the cold dark tomb.

Truly there be none who can long for peace as a soldier longeth for peace, yet there is also a longing for the moment of proof, where life hangs in the balance, and the cause is just.

I fear my soul will never know peace as long as there be war, and I am left on the bench, in the wings. Truly I cannot know happiness when I know my sisters and brothers are far from home, and in harm's way.

Nobody can understand war, and peace, honor and freedom, like a soldier. And oh how I feel I have failed to live up to the challenge posed by the suffering and sacrifice of my kin. Whatever god there be, grant me strength to bear my cross, and lose myself.

Greater love hath no man than this, that he layeth down his life for his brother.

How can I know peace when my brothers and sisters are in the dark. In the cold. On the deserts or mountains of distant lands. How can I find joy in my woman's arms, and my childrens' embrace, when my sisters and brothers are fighting and dying.

I long for the day when the sword shall be beaten into the plowshare, and the childrn of men or God or whatever shall know peace.

Truly there is no peace for the soldier away from the fight. How can I know joy when my brothers and sister's are gone.

As they say in Pashto, bas, enough. I have had my time and my time issure to come again. Now is the time to lay up for the harvest. TO strengthen and prepare. The waters are at the banks and the flood shall surely come.

Carpe Diem. Dulce et decorem est, pro patria more. Pur father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

I shall bide my time and prepare myself.

I am an American Soldier.
I am a Warrior and a member of a team.
I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.
I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.
I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.
I am an expert and I am a professional.
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.
I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.
I am an American Soldier.

Time to recommit. To prepare. To know, be, and do.